I've got a heart full of rubber bands - [entries|friends|calendar] Amaranth [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[29 Dec 2008|11:40pm] [ mood | listless ] [ music | Various fantasy movie soundtracks ] 'Sup, LJ? How's it hanging with you? Me? I've got a cold. Not a bad cold, thank goodness, but still a cold that's keeping me snotty, sneezing, and generally gross. I have gone from my normal bookworm pale to Victorian Tragic pale, complete with plague-like blotches and watering eyes. Oh the yuletide cheer. Took a shower with my new nice shower gel just now to spruce up and give my sinuses some relief. Got very sad when I discovered I could hardly smell the gel in my present condition. I've spent a lot of time with Andy over this break, which I honestly didn't expect and which has made me very happy indeed. Usually I would have done my breezy non-committal thing, but Andy makes me pick a date and time, and when I have those I generally show up. I visited him last night, in fact, and we cuddled while we ate Chinese food and watched The Boondock Saints and vainly pretended we were back in C-Ville. Xmas time has been good, and largely non-eventful. My biggest gift was a new Verizon Dare touchscreen phone, which I'm still partially convinced will gain sentience at any time and petition me for equal rights. My favorite gift was a beautiful box full of labouriously hand-copied recipes from my mother: old family recipes, new finds, friends' favorites, tons and tons of deliciousness and love. Wonderful. What's becoming a rather more unfortunate trend in my life is the habit of family friends giving me journals as presents, which I gratefully thank them for and then never use. That was fine when they were cheap unicorn and flower-covered affairs, but now that I'm older they're progressing more into hand-bound artist designed stuff that racks me with significantly more guilt. What do you think, LJ? Could I manage a paper journal? When I was 17 and a junior in high school I decided I would cash in on the trend of cheap journal-imitation novels, and vowed to write and publish my own legitimate Confessions of a 17 Year Old Girl sort of thing. I just now pulled it out to look at it. The project lasted all of one gloriously well-cataloged day. Here are a couple of my favorite excerpts: - "Dear Reader, if you are reading this, than I have already won...I, being myself, have decided that I want a piece of the almighty pie that is cheap fiction. This is my story. But here's the catch: it's not a story." - "You know, this journal really kind of sucks. Its purple, and has a funky sunflower-looking thing on it." - "I suppose I should introduce myself. Hi, my name is Alex. I sm, in fact, a girl, who has a *gasp* androgynous name. The horror." - "I have brown hair, hazel eyes, and a severe case of megalomania. Oh, and I love unicorns. Mustn't forget my unicorns." - "While it has been said by my friends at the lunch able that I am an anorexic-bullimic (apparently I throw up everything I don't eat), that has no basis in fact and should be ignored." - "I give up on college. Finding places to look, applying, writing essays...fah. It's all too much work! Which is why I have decided to go to Jedi school and study to become a Sith." Wow. My own verbosity has left me speechless. Tomorrow is more shopping for U-Singers Tour, since I need a new coat and tops with actual sleeves/heating systems. Chicago, here I come. New Year's plans are way more complicated than they should be, and it seems I need to be in half a dozen places at once. Maybe my new phone can help with with that if I allow it the freedoms of speech and religion. Before then, though, comes bedtime, and the one episode of Farscape I'm allowing myself. 1 comment|post comment

Blahblah I'm a bad student [16 Dec 2008|01:20am] [ mood | happy ] [ music | Nickel Creek ] Hola, LJ. Andy made me start thinking about you again. But I don't know, dear LJ: are you really worth the attention? You seem such a harsh reminder of my juvenile sensibilities. Also, you are a major distraction when I should be studying. One more exam, and then I'm off. The problem is, it's an easy exam. But why is that a problem? Because it means I have no motivation to study. Instead I'd much rather play video games and mope about the fact that my boyfriend isn't here. Or my lovely roommate. Hopefully tomorrow will come before the loneliness crushes my soul. This year I decided that if I was going to be an English major, choosing it as my love and my interest over everything else, goshdarnitall I was gonna do the reading. And for the most part, I did. Roughly 90%, I'd say. For the exam tomorrow, that means everything except the second half of the Tempest and the last four books of Paradise Lost. I could have done the reading in the last week (I only had two other take-home exams), but I was busy having fun with Andy. Technically, we've been together for a month and a half, but with his mono and necessary time off from school, it's really only been half that. He says that one day, when we're happily divorced, we'll look back on this and think: "Why didn't I see this coming?" He makes me so happy. I know I don't usually gush like this, dear LJ, what with my very strong sense of an audience and whatnot, but I feel like my happiness deserves some acknowledgment, at least. After all, this is the guy I moooned over all semester, and now that all the ridiculous drama of our Browncestuous relationship has blown over, I think I can take some well-deserved time to be all glowing and, well, happy. He's handsome and geeky and funny and sweet and thoughtful and maybe I should stop forcing my (imaginary) readers to deal with my girliness. Sorry. Not really. Anyway, I'm alone right now (except for Paper Mario, which I can't let distract me), and I need to study and clean and pack and return stuff to the library all between now and noon tomorrow. Alas. But I'll be home this time tomorrow, and then I can sleep and mess around and DRIVE AND EAT AND BE ABLE TO LEAVE THE HOUSE because I won't be on crazy pain meds anymore. Damn you, wisdom teeth, and all the horrors you put me through! Blurty just seems to me to be the Grown-Up LJ. And I'm Grown-Up now, I think. I can buy alcohol, at least. Is there more to adulthood? I hope not. Still, I don't think I could make a permanent transition to Blurty. Blurty is for London (which you can find on my Facebook page if you're ever seriously bored and want to read about why I hate trains), and LJ is for my normal, not-so interesting life. I shudder to think what should happen if the two were ever to collide. post comment

LJ? Or 300 pages of reading?... [03 Apr 2008|12:27am] [ mood | listless ] Hi, LJ. I'm going to completely ignore the fact that we haven't spoken in months and move on as if I update every day. I was accepted to the UVa Summer in London program recently, and needless to say, I'm thrilled. It's a month of reading, lectures, travel, and NO PAPER WRITING (they say that would keep us indoors, which is discouraged), with two of the best professors in the English department. Sweet deal, needless to say. However, a number of people quickly bombarded the list serve, wanting to know who might be interested in more extensive traveling after the program ends. Better question: Who *wouldn't* be interested? I go 'oh boy!' and try to jump on board, but some of these people have incredibly ambitious plans (like staying for THREE extra weeks and doing 3 or 4 countries - fun, but $$$). So I decide I'll create my own trip through the UK. Wow. Travel is expensive, even in Europe, where everyone travels all the time, or so the TV has led me to believe. The train, the bus, the ferry, youth hostels...good god. And I've *been* to England - I've seen some of the really cool stuff. I fried my brain for a good three hours last night, looking at pricing and logistics on the intertubes, and then nearly melted it to goo when I realized I have no concrete plans for what to do or where to go. My big one? Doune Castle, in Scotland - where almost all the scenes that needed a castle were shot in Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Because I'm a loser. Also, I love the historical sites, like ruins and castles and ambiguous rocks. Who, besides me, would want to see this stuff? Is it boring to normal kids? What if no one wanted to travel with me? However, when I told my mom I thought it was best to just scrap the whole idea of extra travel, she just told me I needed a more concrete plan, and insisted that I try again. Sigh. So it was a long day, with two rehearsals (U-Singers, for the 50th anniversary concert this weekend, and Gianni Schicci, which opens next Friday) and classes all day. However, I am now officially an English major! Hooray for needless paperwork that's finally DONE! I'm thinking I may add a minor in Comparative Lit, because I loves it so. We'll see. I saw Will Shortz today (the editor of the New York Times crossword puzzle, doncha know). UPC brought him here so we saw him for free! He did interactive word puzzles and told stories. I loved it. Oh LJ - why are you only attractive to me when I have obscene amounts of work to finish? post comment

I love this video [15 Feb 2008|03:07am] [ mood | drained ] [ music | Toy Box? ] And I have no idea why. Except that this group is like an Indian Aqua. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P0aXY2pM2sA&feature=related I've watched it at least 8 times while I've been trying to study for my English exam tomorrow. I am a *terrible* student. Really. Watch this video if you don't believe me. Actually, you should watch this video either way, just for the experience. 1 comment|post comment

Quizzes? What? [22 Dec 2007|03:19pm] [ mood | blah ] [ music | Cowboy Bebop - Green Bird ] 76% Geek Looking for x-ray technician school? Just because I can't fix a computer doesn't mean I'm any less of a geek. Sriously. Also: 12 Looking for payday loans? Five year olds can kick my ass, apparently. Probably because I'd try to read them a story while they were beating me up. Anyway, I'm home now. I miss my boyfriend, and my heater, and my independence, but whatever. Slept until 2 today, and now I'm supposed to go to Macy's to buy pants. We'll see if that actually happens. I spent the morning (read as "the two hours after I got up") watching HBO with my mom and attempting to convince my parents that The Princess Bride really is one of the best movies ever made. They remain skeptical. Maybe I will go out, if only to rent a new video game. I'm really sick of Paper Mario and Twilight Princess. The new Spyro is supposed to be EPIC. We'll see...we'll see. To close: $4765.00The Cadaver Calculator - Find out how much your body is worth. Looking for payday loans? Booyah! post comment

DONEDONEDONEDONEDONE!!!! [16 Dec 2007|02:43am] [ mood | jubilant ] [ music | Surprisingly, no ] I AM DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE WITH MY EXAMS AND LIFE IS FINALLY LOOKING UP. HUZZAH!! Now I have nothing to do but relax. Do you have any idea how long it's been since I've been able to relax?? I don't think I've stopped moving since I got back from Thanksgiving break. No, really. You can't begin to comprehend. Ok kids: listen to your Auntie Alex. Don't go to a smart-person school. Go somewhere nicely mediocre, where you can be a big fish in a little pond and don't ever really have to work. Working = teh suxors. Sriously. The dark circles under my eyes are looking pretty permanent. EEEEEEEEEEK I'M DONE AND I'LL BE HOME SOON AND I CAN GIVE MUSIC THEORY THE FINGER AND BE DONE WITH IT! FOREVER!!! In case I haven't told you (which is pretty much a guarantee, because I haven't talked to ANYBODY this semester), I am no longer a music major. I am a good singer and a terrible musician, and it is not worth the mind-numbing pain of dealing with our music department to get a degree that real music people will laugh at. Really, it's not. So now I am a happy English major with a potential SWAG double. We'll see. But for now... I'M DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE!!!! 1 comment|post comment

[27 Sep 2007|01:16am] [ mood | apathetic ] [ music | With A Little Help From My Friends ] I have been studiously not working for well over an hour now. Frell. (You know you're a sad sad person when you use swear words from a sci-fi show that isn't even on the air anymore). I just downloaded the Across the Universe soundtrack, in spite of the fact that I haven't seen the movie, and I can attest that it is AWESOME. I will admit to my blasphemous opinion that the Beatles don't actually sound very good (I'm sorry! I just think they're whiny and annoying sounding), but I am a fan of their music and lyrics, so when their stuff is performed by other people I'm thrilled. Whoever this Jim Sturgess is that sings most of the songs (like Hey Jude and Girl from the trailer), he's AMAZING. I'm supposed to be listening to 4 jazz cds a week, as a 300-level voice student, I discovered recently. My reaction? HAH. Like that will happen. I like jazz, really, but I am too frelling busy to listen to that much of anything. Speaking of being busy, I think I will make a list of things I have to do tonight, as all of my friends who are actually productive assure me that it will motivate me. ALEX'S LIST OF TO-DO 1) Finish reading Hemingway 2) Stop contemplating my cold toes 3) Read SWAG/write a reading response 4) Wander down to Tucker to procrastinate 5) Transpose at least one jazz piece 6) Meditate whilst staring at the ceiling 7) Get to sleep by 3 am Huh. I don't feel more motivated. I wish I was a real blogger, writing a scathing commentary on the behavior of somebody famous, earning the respect of millions throughout the intertubes. Instead...well, you know. Maybe I should start taking myself too seriously and unfairly criticize everyone I come into contact with. Or... I could start prophesizing! Hmm...I could make dire predictions about the nature of mankind, the end of the world, and the murderous regime of meatball shaped flying spatulas to come. Or I could do my homework. Frell. 3 comments|post comment

Possibly the worst post EVAH [18 Sep 2007|02:20am] [ mood | groggy ] [ music | Chris Thile ] Today I seriously thought, for the first time, about becoming a laywer. We had the most awesome lecture in my Women's Studies class from one of the Law School professors. She talked about equality under the law, how men and women are equal but different, and brought up ways that women are discriminated against under the law. Oh, and ask yourself this: Why do we still have separate men and womens' bathrooms? ...I know! It's awesome. Jason says I'd make a good lawyer because I like to argue (I said that wasn't true). My mom has always wanted me to be a lawyer, partly because she always wanted to be one, and partially because...well...she probably thinks I like to argue. Which I DON'T. God I'm so tired. 5 and a half hours of various rehersals today, and I have an exam and a two page "writing sample" due tomorrow. Blah. Will I do the writing sample tonight? Maybe. Will I mess around on Facebook for a little while longer? Most definitely. I get to see a live simulcast of La Boheme from DC on Sunday. I'm so excited/an opera dork! Maybe this way I'll finally be able to get The Pirates of Penzance out of my head... Oh, and we're singing Abenlied in U-Singers. Oh bleib...not again. I should sleep. 2 comments|post comment

[17 Sep 2007|02:06am] [ mood | tired ] [ music | nope ] For some reason, I am very cold. Also, I am tired and unwilling to work, but that's nothing to marvel at. I saw the most awkward concert I've ever seen today. Lindsay called me to let me know that Theory I students were getting extra credit if they went to the Chamber Series concert today, so I hopped out of bed (where I was until roughly 1:55 pm) and didn't stop moving again until about 10. Anyway, the first piece in the show was a Bach duet between a violin and cello. The violinist (who is a Harvard/Julliard grad, by the way) STOPPED about a minute into the piece, started at his music for several seconds, then looked up and said, "We're starting again." What?? Then later, when playing small pieces of a much larger work, he stopped before each one and introduced them all. BOO. Between that and the pianist lady who moved like she was a sea anemone having a religious experience, it was quite an afternoon. The concert was immediately followed by my first Gov Board meeting, which was in turn followed by Pirates of Penzance practice. Oh. That. I should probably mention, I made cast, and am Ruth, the pirate maid-servant/future pirate queen. Also, she is an Alto. BOOYAH. I should work now. The world is unfair, and I'm super hungry, but alas. Reading The Wasteland won't take me much time, but music theory...will be the death of me. My mother is doing everything she can think of to convince me not to double major. She's worried that I'm working too much. Somehow I can't make her understand that this is UVa - we're all working too much. A whole school of student leaders and overachievers, AH THE HUMANITY. There are those legacy students, but we won't talk about them. And now a brief poem to this most bitter of nights: The Internets Ah internets - why am I doomed to forever wander in thy tubes? 1 comment|post comment

[31 Aug 2007|12:50am] [ mood | tired ] [ music | My roommate is sleeping, and unfortunately that's not a band ] So tonight, we the Tucker Collective decided that we should collectively create an SN on a cybersex site and freak people out with weird scenarios (i.e. Bloodninja). What started out as something very funny quickly became too awkward and boring for me to continue watching. "We're still reeling him in" became people just having too much fun with cybersex. I shudder to think that somewhere a forty to eighty year old man is sitting at his computer, jacking off while he writes "I put the ranch dressing in your pussy and swirl it around with my cock." I just needed to share that with someone. Anyway, I should really get to sleep, as I need to get up at a decent time tomorrow morning to be ready for the sight-singing part of my musicianship apptitude test. Blargh. I think I'll hate it all the way, but I know it will be good for me as a musician. And then there will be Tom Deluca, the hypnotist, and plenty of D&D goodness this weekend. Oh! I haven't mentioned my D&D gang! I love it; it's wonderful and you all should try it. I'm a level one halfing swashbuckler/rouge, and together with my fellow adventurers (a bard, a cleric, a fighting monk, and a giant robot) we pwned some lizard-people butt. Yeah Team Badger! Joe the cleric can summon Celestial Badgers, which have saved Peter the monk's life twice now. My favorite was the time we were interrogating a prisoner, and Peter asked him, "So, do you like Halflings?" I loled, yes indeedy. You know you love me too much to disdain me for roleplaying. 1 comment|post comment

It's been awhile, yeah? [14 Aug 2007|12:34am] [ mood | contemplative ] [ music | She Builds Quick Machines is stuck in my head... ] You know, I love Bridal shows. And not even like My Big Fat Fabulous Wedding-type stuff (which I only saw once and was not overly impressed). I love Bridezilas, Platinum Weddings - hell, I just spent two hours watching Rich Bride Poor Bride, and then watched part of a wedding dress special. I'm nowhere close to getting married myself, but I still love to watch them. I think having worked as a caterer at weddings helped, but it's more than that. I like seeing people happy, people in love. And not just celebrities either; I like watching real people. Weddings aren't what they used to be. Once upon a time, a wedding meant that people were living together, having sex, etc. etc. all for the first time. Now we've moved beyond that, and I think what a wedding really celebrates is family. Its a community coming together to say, "This is hard. Life is hard. But we love you and we're here to support you." Anyway, it makes me happy. And it has definitely taught me that I do not want a fancy wedding. Too much money, too much stress for something that is essentially so simple! A ceremony in a cornfield followed by pizza and root beer floats would do just fine. But I digress. I move in in just under two weeks. I'm a little shocked, actually. All of a sudden, the summer sped up. I'm getting lonely at nights again, which is a sure sign that I need to get back to my loving Brown, but I will miss sleeping. I sleep a lot these days. My sleeping has been hampered lately, however, by my ears. I now have seven unnecessary holes in my head, three in my earlobes and one in the cartilidge of my left ear. The trouble is, I can't really sleep on them yet, and that causes me to lose sleep and become cranky. I hate being cranky. But oh well. Now I just need to quit my job, start packing, and PRACTICE. YE GODS. I havn't been singing all summer, and it shows. Sight singing is almost a physical pain. Ah well. I expect Muggle Quidditch and other such shenanigans upon my return to Charlottesville. Wahoo wa indeed. 1 comment|post comment

Damn the man! [30 Apr 2007|12:15am] [ mood | gloomy ] [ music | Weapon of Choice ] So. Before you see Facebook and flip, yes, I am now in a relationship. Again. With Jason. Again. Confused? Yeah, we usually are too. Also, it is 12:16 am. I have a paper due at 11 am that I have not yet started. Hence I am posting on my Livejournal. Whoot! I can't wait for vacation. Seriously. Enough is enough. My voice recital was today. All twenty of my teacher's students performed. With very few exceptions, it sounded like an American Idol audition room. Painful, to say the least. Once tomorrow is done (read as "once my paper is done") my week gets a hell of a lot easier. Unless, of course, I discover that I've actually failed Astronomy. That would suck my whole life down into a black pit of despair. So let's hope that doesn't happen. I'm going to go bang my head into my keyboard some more. You know - for inspiration. 5 comments|post comment

In response to today... [17 Apr 2007|01:03am] [ mood | drained ] [ music | Jesse & Joy - Cielo Azul ] Nothing anyone can ever say will ever convince me that love is not the answer. That's all for now. post comment

All Ur Base Are Belong To Me [31 Mar 2007|01:47pm] [ mood | accomplished ] [ music | Jesse and Joy ] So....who here is going to see JON STEWART LIVE at JPJ? OH WAIT, THAT WOULD BE ME. HAHAHAHAHAHA! I win. I had to stand out in the bitter cold for two hours early in the morning to get them, but I got them. And it will be amazing. 2 comments|post comment

So pretty.... [29 Mar 2007|03:39pm] [ mood | groggy ] [ music | Sheryl Crow - A Change Would Do You Good ] EVERYONE needs to see this, because it is imperative to your existance as a person of any sort of quality. http://www.stardustmovie.com/site.htm DO IT. My migraine medication hasn't quite kicked in yet, and the person playing their trumpet VERY LOUDLY oustide my window isn't helping. 2 comments|post comment

Must...have...Wheat Thins!!! [21 Mar 2007|02:06am] [ mood | blah ] [ music | Pan's Labyrinth ] Today, I made friends with a squirrel. I was hanging out in the Amphitheatre before class, chilling in the sun and doing my crossword puzzle, when a little squirrel hopped up nearby, chewing avidly on a nut. We communed in companionable silence for awhile until he finished his snack and started nosing about for another one. Happy to help a friend in need, I tossed him one of the Wheat Thins I was munching on. He snatched it up and quickly devoured it, then eagerly looked up at me for another. I obliged. We did this about four times before I ran out, and I was forced to explain to my new friend that I had nothing else to give him. He didn't really believe me, and in his persistent quest for more Wheat Thin goodness ended up nearly on top of my backpack, which was right next to me. Of course, at this point my overactive imagination goes berserk and starts picturing the squirrel leaping at my face in a bloodthirsty rage, screaming "WHEAT THINS" in squirrel all the while. This, fortunately, did not actually happen, and though my squirrel friend was disappointed, we parted on good terms. Other than that, today sucked. 1 comment|post comment

Slotted spoons don't hold much soup [14 Mar 2007|02:18am] [ mood | weird ] [ music | Candide ] Rargh rargh and I'm so BORED and sick of work. My room is a mess and I hate Jane Austen and I'm so RESTLESSSSSSS. I repeat: RARGH. So anyway, I'm whiny. How are you? Mafia = love. My hair is currently very fluffy and distracting in its high ponytail. Swoosh swoosh rabies, it says. Not that I asked it, or anything. I'm working at Jabberwocky this summer. Mmm...a job without alcohol or STDs! This is the part where you say "Haha! Alex, you're so clever! I'm soo terribly glad that I stay current and up-to-date on your most entertaining blog." Or something to that effect. I'll also take, "Alex, I love you and want to give you a big hug/kiss/box-wrapped-in-shiny-paper-with-a-bow." I get the feeling that my eyes are really big right now. Pity I can't see them without a mirror or body of water. All I want for Christmas is a lack of ADD. Please. 6 comments|post comment

Yes, Scott McCloud was AWESOME [26 Feb 2007|10:52pm] [ mood | bouncy ] [ music | Into the Woods ] I just thanked the vending machine downstairs for issuing me a bottle of water. Is that wrong? 2 comments|post comment

Ah, the glorious pain.... [16 Feb 2007|03:07am] [ mood | jubilant ] [ music | Pink - Life is a DJ ] My ass hurts SO MUCH right now, but I'm still so happy I don't care. Short version, because I'm tired. Tonight, a whole group of Brownies went out to Nameless Field (which is still covered with snow and a massively thick sheet of ice), and we slid and threw snow and tackled each other down the hill to our hearts' content. We are all bruised and bleeding, but none more so than the ladies - the guys thought it would be funny to smack our rear ends whenever the opportunity presented itself. They also enjoyed tackling us down the hill, which is harder for us - it took at least three girls to successfuly get a guy down the hill, and we always ended up going with them. YE GODS I LOVE COLLEGE. It was the most fun I have had in FOREVER, and I haven't done any of my homework and I'm exhausted and sore and SO HAPPY. My Valentines Day consisted of an Invader Zim marathon. I had a paper to write and did not care. It is becoming increasingly apparent that I possess no work ethic and I don't care. I need to go read Watchmen for my short course on comics. Life is AMAZING. (And I got through all that without a boob comment - aren't you proud of me? Not that my life is anything *but* an unending boob comment anymore.) 2 comments|post comment

Sentimental much? [13 Feb 2007|02:08am] [ mood | sleepy ] [ music | Hands Open - Snow Patrol ] "I wanna hear you laugh like you really mean it, collapse into me, tired with joy" ...is the most romantic line I've heard in a long time. I just wanted to share that with everyone. Valentines Day is making me feel a little wonky. I'm not sure boys are worth all the effort. But then, what is? Most of my friends are guys, here. That led to me being "utterly dominated" on a run to the Castle tonight, followed by a looong stream of anti-feminist jokes (all of this was sparked by the orgasm pictures on Facebook - if you haven't seen them, you probably should). I was told more than once to make sandwiches, then retire immediately to the bedroom. I love them, even if they do try their best to set women back half a century. All in jest of course - except for the bedroom part. In other news...there is no other news. Happy Valentines Day, and all my love to everyone. Romantically or otherwise, I do love all of you. 2 comments|post comment

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